Conundrum II - Goal Setting

Follow @scribbling_shutterbug for my clicks and quotes

Faced with another conundrum...

Aim high, so that even if you hit lower, you get what you would've aimed earlier...

OR

Aim low and work harder, so that if you don't achieve what you secretly desire, you don't feel depressed...

Just like the confusion around accepting universe's sign or fighting against it, this is another conundrum that has jolted my life for many years..

The problem is, I always think about "what if I fail ?"...

I've always feared failure...

And now it is tough not to..

I have always looked up to my father, a man who seemed to be perfect, a man who always took calculated steps, and always did what he meant to do...

In order to become that perfect man, I started undermining my goals, all I knew was to get success, so low goal setting was a thing right from my childhood...

I always aimed low, although "wished" secretly to get higher...

The problem with "wishing" is that you often leave it up to the universe....

And that is why I always kept my efforts limited to the low goals I set...

I never aspired to be the topper... Coz I feared that what if I try to become one, put in all the efforts and then don't come up first in class?

So, I aimed at learning in class and that was great coz I answered questions beamed at the class more than the toppers, I was the one who had curious questions, and perfect answers to the teacher's questions....

I was good at 'understanding' things, and once you have understood a thing, the only thing that holds you back from getting 100 percentiles remembering them, which can be easily achieved by practicing...

It is a cake walk to learn things that you already understand.

But there I was, aiming low, to avoid failing my goal.

I never practiced, even during exams, I studied lesser than what one should...

I focused more on playing and fooling around during my exams, even now, during my BTech, I did the same...

Even my parents never forced me to study, they knew I was understanding things well, and they were satisfied...

They believed in learning more than scoring...

So I was a happy soul... Achieving what I've been aiming for...

In spite of under preparation and low goal setting, I always managed to be in top 5 in high school and always scored more than 85% in later classes...

So I was a happy soul... Achieving more than what I've been aiming for.

I had my own philosophies like “not setting a life goal”, as I feared failing, I never created a profession as my goal.

Whenever I was asked this heavy question of “What do you want to become when you grow up” by elders trying to do the usual small talk with kids, I presented my theory instead of a single expected occupation.

I used to say, “I don’t want to set a goal, coz I don’t know the world yet… And I don’t want myself to get depressed at a later age when I lead a different life than what I dreamt for my whole childhood. Money or fame wouldn’t matter at that stage, the only thing that would matter would be not leading the life that I dreamt about. So, to avoid bounding myself by immature goal setting and to avoid repentance at a later stage, I don’t have a goal!”. Don’t know if they ever repent about setting a goal early in their life after listening to my theory, but pretty sure they must’ve regretted initiating this small talk with me.

To be honest, I still don’t regret living by this theory of mine, even now, I don’t dream of big goals, I still believe in taking one small step at a time looking up towards few of the upcoming steps ahead.

Now, this attitude of mine, fearing failure and staying happy by setting and achieving low goals, was recently challenged while I was reading “10x rule”. It stated, that to achieve something, Aim 10 times higher and to achieve the high set goal, put in 10 times of effort.

This got, me thinking….
What if instead of underestimating myself and capping my goals, I actually aimed higher?

What if I actually tried to achieve something which was above my comfort zone, which actually required putting in effort?

I always thought I was afraid failing but reanalyzing it honestly revealed that the root cause was my laziness, my fear for working hard…..
I remembering saying it to my dad, “why should I do it? If there is no sure shot at getting a result, I should better not waste my efforts on it…”. Whenever I didn’t try, I made it sound like a smart analysis, and that I am saving time and efforts. But actually, saving myself from leaving my comfort zone.

Now, that I have realized the root cause being my laziness, I am willing to work hard and even set high goals to actually achieve them.

But the conundrum still persists, should I aim low and secretly “put in efforts” for a higher goal, or

Should I aim higher than what I want so that at least achieve what I wish for?

Which path do you follow?

Whichever path you choose, never let the fear of putting in efforts get better of you and your goal setting.